Him

He is a person who is particularly intelligent and yet somewhat condescending. She is woman who is particularly beautiful. Or it is the upcoming workshop for which I am not sufficiently well prepared. The commonality of the condescending guy, the good-looking woman, the upcoming workshop? They make me feel insecure. And they are the perfect projection screen to keep me from confronting myself.

Let's take the condescending guy: At home, I talk about him, get annoyed, throw myself into more work. That's what I do with the upcoming workshop. When I sink into bed from all the work, some distraction is well deserved. So I scroll through the beautiful woman's pictures and reels on Instagram and find that she actually does look insecure and does a good job of concealing her curves.

Compensation conceals insecurity

The commonality of these compensation mechanisms? They distract from the real problem, which of course lies within me: The insecurity. Which I don't deal with because it's easier to project it onto others. What's interesting here is the phenomenon that these insecurities supposedly plague all people. The good-looking, those who have reached the top of their profession, those who are financially and socially well-supported – in other words, all those who fulfill all the success criteria of our society – are occasionally or far too often insecure. Struggling, doubting, not knowing what to do.

Is true success having uncertainties «under control»? Does understanding them and turning them into certainty lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment? If so, what is the secret recipe? There are many answers to these questions and even more solutions.

I am not good enough

One approach that changed my life and the lives of many of my coachees is working with my Saboteur. My saboteur is my inner grouch, my doubter. He is insecurity personified.

More precisely psychologically speaking, it is a personality trait that comes with a dominant pattern of thoughts, corresponding feelings and actions. With the condescending type, it's thoughts like «I'm not good enough». The beautiful woman triggers thoughts like «I'm not beautiful enough». Both thoughts lead to insecurity, perhaps even inner humiliation and degradation. Even though neither the guy nor the woman did anything.

Better life through thought control

So if I can manage to shift my focus away from this guy and the woman to myself, to recognize my saboteur by his typical thoughts, or to recognize early on the situations in which the saboteur occurs, I can limit his impact. If I replace him in a second step with a positive inner player, i.e., my goddess, warrior or whatever creates resonance, not only my well-being increases, but also my scope of action for an even better life.

This is about mind control. Knowing my inner players, actively evoking them in important situations, has changed my life. This process took many years and even today I sometimes find it easy, sometimes difficult to control my thoughts. But I know that everything that happens is a mirror of myself.

For the full guide on how to expose your saboteur and identify your mental superpowers, check out this video on mental strength. Instead of scrolling Insta blankly or spending way too long annoying yourself about others, you'll find far more exciting stories in your head that you tell yourself. Have fun discovering them!